So...

it might be the full pot of coffee
on the completely empty stomach
that's to blame but

i'm feeling a tad bit anxious today
about things...

knowledge.

breathe.

stretch.

shake.

let it go.

Monday...

...belly full of butterflies.

it's fixing to be a 180 up in this place. either plan A or plan B.

the announcement is this week. the job has been taken down.

it's game time.

i just don't know who's playing yet.

This is it...

I finally found you
in my dreams last night.
In passing, I was able
to throw my frustrations
in your face-
About your absence.
Your indifference.
Your lack of sincerity.


You stood still against
the wall eating
cupcakes, pink frosting smeared
along your mouth as I walked
out the door.


This is the only closure
I seem to get.

Counting...

Eight more days.

Tell me there's another beginning

somewhere other than here.

I don't want to go back.

True Story...

...We're surrounded by perfect endings, extra lives and reset buttons.

It's a terrifying realization to come to when it dawns on you:

you have no access to those things in real life.

Life:
You only have one of 'em.
Live the hell out it.

A song got me thinking...:

i don't mean to seem that
i am constantly complaining.
that i'm constantly unhappy.
that i'm constantly stuck.

the truth is, while i can be all
of those things, it is not because
-i live at home.
-i don't have a "real" job.
-i have a mountain of bills that my income can't support.

i have faced that.
it's life.
i can deal with that.
i will always be able to.

what drives me to my moods is simply
that i feel that i am so
blessed
and
thankful
to honestly just to be alive.

sometimes i can't stand to think
that i'm wasting one second
of this gift.

this life.

this opportunity...